


A Corny Date With Cardinal Copia

by mistershark666



Series: Cardinal Copia OneShots [1]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Corny, Other, Pegging, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:13:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25323694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistershark666/pseuds/mistershark666
Summary: This will be your third date with the Cardinal, and things get cornier than just his bad jokes.
Relationships: Cardinal Copia/Reader
Series: Cardinal Copia OneShots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834216
Comments: 12
Kudos: 15





	A Corny Date With Cardinal Copia

You thought tonight would go a lot different than this. The rainstorm had already put a damper on your mood, but of course Cardinal Copia had to plan a date when the sun wasn’t shining like some cartoonish vampire would.   
This would be your third date with the lanky, yet oddly attractive man. The previous two dates had gone fine you’d suppose, even if they were in areas surrounded by the classic Manhattan style sewer rats. Nonetheless, you find yourself wanting to care for this man. His dark eye makeup may be peculiar, but he has a kind heart. Definitely the energy of a bottom, but you were more than okay with that.   
Tonight, however, seemed different. Copia walked into the restaurant with a lot less pep in his step, despite the rainfall and lack of sun. In fact, his ‘walking’ would better be described as shuffling; barely lifting his legs as he “took steps” towards your table.

“Got a stick up your ass tonight, Copia?” You jokingly ask. 

He blushes deeply and darts his eyes away. You giggle a little more as he struggles into his seat opposite of you. Maybe he really did have an injury and here you are, mocking him.

“Ehhhh, if that’s what you American’s call it!” He pokes back. 

His laugh was uncomfortable, but you figure him an odd man working for a Satanic church in the middle of Sweden. Afterall, a slim, rat-like Cardinal who wears eye makeup regularly is already out of the ordinary. But who ever said you liked vanilla things anyway?  
You ignore his posture and blush yourself, perhaps you shouldn’t have made the comment but it’s too late to take it back. After ordering a collective meal, you two indulge in pleasant and somewhat deep conversation. You smile, knowing you two can delve into bizarre topics; Victorian architecture, space, and whether vampires are real. (He strongly believes they are and encourages you to feel the same).  
The date went smoothly. A nice, traditional meal paired with a sharp red wine that got you closer to tipsy than you would have expected, led to you and a slightly tipsy, shuffling Cardinal waving down a cab to drive you and your blushing date home.   
You originally invited him over for some evening coffee to counter the wine you both consumed, but once you were in the backseat of the car, you had other ideas. Your hand moved to his thigh and grasped gently. You had enough wine in your system to give you confidence and you were taking full advantage of it.   
Copia made solid eye contact with you. His flushed cheeks complimented the obvious heterochromia he was so blessed with. You leaned in to kiss him, not too rough, as you still had plenty of time before reaching your apartment, but hard enough to send the message across.   
Your lips touch his, gently at first, as to ensure a consensual transaction, and as he kisses back, you grab his thigh a little tighter. He softly pecks the tip of his tongue onto your lips before deepening the kiss. You open your mouth to let his tongue enter and the two of you play fight for a while, losing track of time until the cab comes to an abrupt stop at a red light.   
The driver jokingly mentions that if the two of you continue, you’ll have to pay double the cost. Which, frankly, you both knew wasn’t a joke. At that comment, the two of you separated and sat at opposing ends of the vehicle until it arrived at your familiar apartment complex.  
After exiting the cab, and paying the driver a little more than what was due (obviously for the eyesore he witnessed) you led Copia into your apartment. There was an awkward tension in the warmly lit apartment. Neither of you knew how to diffuse it or even approach it. 

“So… how about the coffee? We can maybe put in a classic and enjoy that for the evening?” you casually offered. 

Copia took the offer with glee and asked if he could be of any help. You decline, knowing it doesn’t take two to make water boil, and it surely doesn’t take two to pull up Netflix.   
Copia, still with noticeable strain in his movement, slowly comes to rest on your leather couch. Not particularly a type of couch you would have personally purchased, but your former girlfriend got it for you as a gift, even though she knew how much you hated leather seating. Why get sticky when you don’t need to anyway?  
Once the water came to a high pitched boil, you poured it over coffee grounds, let it steep, and served it to your romantic guest with a side of cream and sugar, just in case. You cuddled up next to Copia as the film began, and very quickly, the two of you had finished your drinks. You noticed Copia place his mug on the coffee table, and even in the comfort of your own home, you followed his actions.  
His arm had wrapped around your shoulders and aimlessly his fingers traced a pattern into your skin. The pattern… almost like the symbol worn on his cassock when you first met? Either way, in the moment that didn’t matter. You felt your skin getting hot and you knew it would take more courage than your previously tipsy self had to make a move.   
Slowly, you turned to face Copia, his white eye, contrasting the dark room, widened in surprise. “What a respectful man, thinking I wouldn’t go for a second try.” you thought to yourself. A small, yet devious smile spread across your face, and he smiled in return. He leaned in first this time, a little harder than before, and grasped your bottom lip with his teeth.  
This caused your grin to widen, and you pushed Copia roughly back into the sofa. Maybe a little too roughly after he winced in pain.   
You cupped his cheek and apologized quietly before returning to work. That black lip liner needed a little more work in the general area before you were pleased enough to continue this night. Slowly, the kissing became more heated, more needy, and soon enough, your tongue was dipping in and out of that precious man’s mouth like he was the oasis you found after a long journey.  
You found yourself on Copia’s lap, his thumbs pressing into your hips, hopefully to leave bruises for tomorrow. He moaned softly at every gentle touch as your hands crawled into his hair and wrapped around loose strands. You tugged at it, not too hard at first, but as he sharply inhaled, you pulled again. Harder. Copia leans into your every touch, and you hear him softly whimper as you begin to grind down on his now hard cock.   
Slowly, you unbutton his shirt as he undoes your belt buckle. Clothing starts disappearing off of the two of you, as if it was never there to begin with. You look down at his chest, your hand gracefully finding its way to his grey boxers. He stops your hand and urges you to take this elsewhere.  
As seductively as one possibly can, you slide off his lap, and take him to your bedroom. Excited, he follows close behind, but stops in the doorway.

“Uh.” he sighs out.

“Is everything okay?” you ask with genuine concern for The Cardinal.

“I- I uh...” he stutters. You feel some concern, as if you have done something wrong. “Would you uh… peg me?” he shyly asks.

This. This was the man you’ve been waiting for your whole life. A gentleman, a scholar, and a soft little man who just wants to be pegged into oblivion. You grin widely and blush as though you just received the highest of praise.

“That. Is exactly what I want to do.” you state lowly while looking into his eyes lustfully. 

You reach your hand out to the short man standing in your doorway, waiting expectantly. With an innocent, but flirtatious look, he shuffles over to you. Your lips reconnect to Copia’s and his hands crawl over your ass and chest. Each light touch feels immense and heavy.   
You shove Copia onto the bed and even with his peculiar pains, he appears enthralled. You crawl on top of him, hovering with great superiority over him. He grins widely and you command him to get on all fours on your bed. Initially, he seems hesitant until you wrap your hand around his throat, demanding once more:

“Get on your hands and knees.” each word punctuated with clarity.

Quickly, Copia turns over and looks past his shoulder to see you preparing with lube. You crawl up behind him once more, wrapping your hands around him towards his groin and slowly slipping your hand in. His pelvis cocks back at your touch, his breath heavy, cheeks flushed. Your fingertips wrap around his shaft gently tugging towards the tip. His moans get heavy and fast the quicker you rub his cock.

“Please… fuck me.” he begs.

Of course you had to comply. The weak whimper he gave you made you cave in. He was already a mess in your hands, it was time to fuck him.  
As you lean back, you begin to push the tip in, but something stops you. Literally, something in this man’s asshole prevents you from entering. “Maybe vampire rules really do apply? Do I have to be invited in?” You lean towards the panting man’s ear and ask:

“Can I… enter you?” 

You feel uncertain with your vocabulary at this moment but maybe vampire rules really do apply here.

“Please!” he begs demandingly.

And once more, you try again, but the same force stopping you prior, still won’t let you enter. You don’t want to ruin the mood, so you decide some tasteful fingering might be at need right now. Slowly, you insert a finger and quickly feel something peculiar in your date's rectum.

"Do you feel it?" Copia huffs.

"Uh… yes? What is it?" You ask curiously.

"Please… pull it out." He begs.

You comply. You don't see why pulling out the mysterious object would be a bad thing after all. Slowly, you push the rest of your hand in and wrap around the lumpy object. You pull it out, but not quickly enough to cause damage. You want him to enjoy this.

He moans loudly as you pull the object out. It comes out clean, yellow, and… corn? Who would have thought, your favorite starchy vegetable was right near the entrance of this beautiful man's asshole. 

"Again." He sighs.

"What?" You inquire.

"Please, there's more." He replies.

Without asking another question you dive back in. He's right! There's another corn cob! You pull it out all the same, but this time, you wrap your hand around his thick cock and begin stroking up and down as you go in for thirds.

Consistently, you pull more and more cobs of corn out until your handsome, rat-like date comes in your hand. It's an amazing feeling to see him crumple in your arms, even if you didn't get to peg him, you had an amazing night.

You never saw the third date being full of delicious corn, hot and ready for an after sex snack, and the sing-song moans from a satanic Cardinal, but you surely were not disappointed. Maybe a fourth date was in order?


End file.
